Sunday, January 11, 2009

I Have My Own Theme Song! Dig It!

You know, I have always secretly wanted to be one of those hep cats you see in movies (usually from the 1970s, with "exploitation" somewhere in the description) who have their own theme music that follows them everywhere. You know when they walk into a room before you even see them because their signature background music starts in, seemingly out of nowhere. Shaft comes to mind. (Can you dig it?)
I was thinking about this a moment ago when I realized I do have my own theme song that follows me. It's more aptly categorized in the ambient/ techno/ industrial/ noise genre, but a sort of music all the same. I must have become inured to the dizzying melody, like people who live by the airport eventually become accustomed to the roar of the planes taking off in the middle of the night.
Since I can't come visit all of you and let you hear this fabulous tune firsthand I shall try to describe it for you:
Rhythm: The constant pop and snap of aging bones, complimented by the syncopating downbeat of creaking joints; The spinning, clanking and whirring of clothes as they alternate from the washer to the dryer in a heady endless cleaning cycle.
Vocals: the banshee-like screams of Violet, punctuated by the random coherent word she'll say in English. Stray cat meowing, chinchilla scurrying.
Percussion: The rap, rap, rap of various religious proselytizers knocking at the door; The sound of my soul not being saved as I turn them away. Toys being hurled across the room at random. Spoons hitting the floor. The rattle of pills in a prescription bottle, as I reach for a Mother's Little Helper. (Wait... that one was just an auditory hallucination. Wishful thinking. For some mothers, there are no little helpers!)
Alright, that just scratches the surface, There are at least thirty more constant sounds I cannot even distinguish at this time. Let's just say that my theme song makes Phil Spector's "Wall of Sound" look like a one-man street band, okay? (Plus, he's just about the only person I can think of whose hair is worse than mine right now.)


The Self-Deprechaun said...

This is like a post from Ally McBeal where she had that theme song in her head and walked to it. I think it was Hooked on a Feeling and with that dancing baby. Mine is 'Freak me Baby' by Silk. Okay maybe it's more like 'YMCA'.

Blicky Kitty said...

Brilliantly written post.

The vocals on mine today would have to include "Mumma, I did paint on kitty's hair."

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