Sunday, January 11, 2009

Wait, There Must Be a Mistake!

By my calculations, approximately twelve minutes ago I turned thirty-one.
I don't feel older... yet.
I'll give it an hour. Maybe two.
What is that sound?
That is the sound of my body betraying me! Cells duplicating slower and slower. Wrinkles and crinkles carving their way into my flesh. I can feel it.

I'm going to go try to wash it off before it spreads!

(Now accepting fun ideas for my impending mid-life crisis! Wacky attire, hairstyles, extravagant purchases- the more age-inappropriate the better!)


Chelle said...

Buy a snowsuit. It'll be cathartic. Or horrifying.

One of those.

Sidd said...

Happy Birthday! Tell us how you celebrated.

The Self-Deprechaun said...

Happy Birthday, Hot Momma!

Quentin said...

I turn 30 this year...I can feel the creeping doom as well. It's like you live your whole life, fist clenched, thrusting your elbow downward in a perpetual "Yes!". Then comes 30, with it's fangs, dripping visceral agony.

We're all fucked! Although I do kinda want those Reed Richards gray stripes on the side of my head...

Blicky Kitty said...

Oh you poor old dust-covered thing!

I hit the big 4-0 in a little over a month. I'm celebrating by running ten miles and stealing hip music for my exercise playlist. Then I'll probably shake my cane at my 3 year old.

Anonymous said...

Aw man I missed it! Happy belated birthday! You were born a day before, and three years after, I was!

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