Friday, October 24, 2008

Near-Death By (Almost) Chocolate

(Or, "How you know you live with a hardcore geek.")

Near-death experience for today: check!
Almost dying in a really humiliating (but totally hilarious) way: check!

So, I was sitting on the couch eating a Tootsie Roll that I stole from the bag of trick-or-treater candy when I somehow got choked. Serves me right, I know. Meanwhile, Jeremy is playing away on some game on the XBox, approximately four feet away from me. I don't know if this is unusual but, I panic when I choke. Sorry, but the whole thing about having something blocking my airway, I don't know... it bugs me. I'm weird like that. So I start waving my hands to get his attention and, presumably his assistance, in returning to a no-longer-choking-to-death state of being.

He finally looks away from the game long enough to see me doing the universal "I'm choking!" sign. He asks me if I'm "okay," as he looks back to the television. (He's playing a role-playing game with a bunch of subtitles. You know it would totally suck if he missed anything important!)
Well, I managed to pace around and swallow the offending bit of Tootsie Roll, avoiding certain doom, catch my breath and try to regain composure.
I told him I was going to come write about how he was too absorbed into his video game to try to save me.
I fear he may be beyond shaming. But at least I think he leveled up!

Next time I'll tell you about when, during my pregnancy, I almost fell while maneuvering between the coffee table and his gargantuan feet, and I caught myself by grabbing onto the comic book he was reading. I didn't even get an "Are you okay?" that time.

"Hey, you just wrinkled my comic!"

I hope anyone reading this can get the sick humor. My airway was never totally blocked, I just got sort of strangled. He really would help me if he thought I was choking to death... well, as soon as he found a save point!


minerva1822 said...

omg dude that was too damn funny im sorry..i about im glad to hear you didnt come to a sudden stop in your exsistence then violet, jeremy and i would be highly upset. how is it we are always on at the same time
??? me if you

Jeremy said...

Lost Odyssey is EPIC!

Glad you weren't actually choking to death. I would have hated to have to pause my game or even worse such as turning it off without saving just to take you to the hospital!

Autism Mom said...

Hey, do you remember my "oct-oct" pizza choking episode? You thought that was particularly hilarious. Hmm, karma maybe? ;)

Just kidding.

Also, do you remember the lifesaver choking incident with Jon? Remember, if Violet ever chokes on something: pick her up, turn her upside down, and whack the hell out of her back (it doesn't really matter where on her back- in fact, variety is key!).

By the way, you totally owe Jeremy's comic book an apology!

minerva1822 said...

it seems as though you have a new kitty on your hands too whether you want to or
mark has felt sorry for this one that has been begging at our door..i told mark it is DEF not coming in the house cause i dont know if its had its shots and if it has fleas..i ant afford that kind of treatments right now..not to mention he is a boy and therefore needs neutered..i cant stand a cat that sprays everywhere. lol

putting violets clothes on ebay is a good idea!!...hmmm i may steal your idea and start posting alot of stuff that we dont use for breanna any more..ill figure something out.. as for the phone call im phone didnt even give me a warning that it was going dead (POS) it kinda ticked me dont feel bad it was actually my fault...hope to talk to ya soon have fun chica.

Rick said...

Funny - at what level was he on this game? Was he about to beat the evil wizard, or win the trophy, or what. I mean, there are emergencies and there are emergencies. One wouldn't want to blow a crucial moment on a video game just because someone is passing from this life to the next.

*mary* said...

Rick, to answer your question (and make Jeremy look even worse in the process!) he was not at a crucial point in the game, "a main boss" as they used to say back in the day, but he was just worried he'd miss some of the storyline. But I am humble (aren't humble people always stating that fact?) and I realize that my potential untimely demise is no reason to expect a man to look away from his game, to perhaps prevent said untimely demise.

Blicky Kitty said...

Haha that cracked me up. Reminded me of the time I almost bit the big one while 8 months pregnant and so hungry I was laughing and crying at the same time while driving and eating Chinese food and didn't see a car. Boy would thatta been embarrassing!

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