(Or, "How you know you live with a hardcore geek.")
Near-death experience for today: check!
Almost dying in a really humiliating (but totally hilarious) way: check!
So, I was sitting on the couch eating a Tootsie Roll that I stole from the bag of trick-or-treater candy when I somehow got choked. Serves me right, I know. Meanwhile, Jeremy is playing away on some game on the XBox, approximately four feet away from me. I don't know if this is unusual but, I panic when I choke. Sorry, but the whole thing about having something blocking my airway, I don't know... it bugs me. I'm weird like that. So I start waving my hands to get his attention and, presumably his assistance, in returning to a no-longer-choking-to-death state of being.
He finally looks away from the game long enough to see me doing the universal "I'm choking!" sign. He asks me if I'm "okay," as he looks back to the television. (He's playing a role-playing game with a bunch of subtitles. You know it would totally suck if he missed anything important!)
Well, I managed to pace around and swallow the offending bit of Tootsie Roll, avoiding certain doom, catch my breath and try to regain composure.
I told him I was going to come write about how he was too absorbed into his video game to try to save me.
I fear he may be beyond shaming. But at least I think he leveled up!
Next time I'll tell you about when, during my pregnancy, I almost fell while maneuvering between the coffee table and his gargantuan feet, and I caught myself by grabbing onto the comic book he was reading. I didn't even get an "Are you okay?" that time.
"Hey, you just wrinkled my comic!"
I hope anyone reading this can get the sick humor. My airway was never totally blocked, I just got sort of strangled. He really would help me if he thought I was choking to death... well, as soon as he found a save point!
My Short Story: Life, Interrupted
3 days ago