When I'm Not On Blogger

If I fail to post for a couple (okay, six or seven) days, I'm most likely doing this:

- Drinking copious amounts of coffee. Right now it's Antigua by Gevalia.

- Rearranging the ancient hand-me-down furniture in my house in an attempt to make it appear less hand-me-down and ancient, as though merely its placement could change that. (It now looks like ancient hand-me-down furniture, in a different place.)

- Chase Violet and generally try to keep her away from all things sharp and electrical in the home. That is a full time job in itself.

- Furiously use teeth whitening products to undo the damage all the damn coffee inflicts on my teeth. They are not quite white, but not yellow. They are a shade I've named, in an attempt to make it sound more charming than it really is, "antique lace."

- Start reading at least five separate books, and get halfway through each of them. Right now I'm reading "The Best Awful," by Carrie Fisher. There is a book in each room of the house that I am working on. (But not the bathroom. I've never understood that. If you have time to read in there- you need to eat more fiber. Sorry.)

- Oh yeah, and don't forget the everyday tedium of cleaning, dishes, laundry, diapers, food, etc.

My life is a speeding motorcycle, full of danger and excitement! Can't you just feel the wind in your hair?

To Do:

1. Attempt to recover from lack of sleep. Violet rolls all over the bed, eventually pimp-smacking me awake and out of bed, leaving her lying there in the luxury of a bed to herself. Yes, my fault because she still sleeps with me. I'm working on it.
2. Drink coffee. I'm having German Chocolate Cake, by Gevalia. I'm not really a fan of flavored coffee, but it'll have to do.
3. Try to take a walk before it rains.
4. Get started on this pathetic list.
*Cribs are for sleeping, not standing and looking lonely!*