The Cinci Zoo! (Also, I Suck at Blogging, and Therefore Life)

Hello all. I see it has been weeks since my last post. (I'm getting really good at slacking!) So I thought it was time to post the zoo pictures I took the day after Halloween.

Other than that I have just been busy with school, Violet and such- not necessarily in that order. Nothing much to report on, oh- except that so far I have gotten A's in all my classes! That is noteworthy I think.

Here you go. You can enjoy the zoo without having to drive through Cincinnati!

Violet, giggling at lunch.

She thought it was funny that this squirrel joined us.

Bongo!

Violet was brave and pet not only a python but also an alligator.

This is a Takin. He is a cool guy.

Lynx with a cool hair do.

Sumatran Rhino

Pallas's Cat

Small world! Turns out that this guy and I share a common ancestor. I can see the resemblance.

When I sent these pictures to my Mom & Dad, my Mom said, "Oh my god! You let her next to a rhino!" Bwahahaha! Why YES I did. I also let her ride a puma, as seen below.

A Quick Breakdown on My Edumacation

Three of my four classes are History (my major). The fourth is Economics.

One professor actually refers to it as "edumacation". This same professor, six weeks in, has yet to have us open a textbook. We didn't get a syllabus until three weeks in. That in itself isn't so bad, but the time in class has been spent listening to his stories on everything from healthcare reform to Seinfeld episodes, and the question of "how far away is the sun?" seems to be a recurring theme. It's a History class! Once when discussion of history did come up he referred to Martin Luther's Ninety-Five Theses as the Twenty-Five Theses. I guess he read the abridged edition. The upside of this professor is that he is a sweet old guy and entertaining.

My second history class unfailingly comes back to talk of religion. And no, not 'how the Catholic Church dominated the 16th and 17th centuries', or something like that. I mean 'Raise your hand if you are a Baptist... Any Presbyterians?' Seriously. I felt it was inappropriate and irrelevant to the course. But then, I am right in the buckle of the Bible belt so not shocking. (Okay, maybe a little.) I opted to not share my religious views as people often confuse 'atheism' with 'Satan-worshipping', which leads to awkward moments I'd just rather avoid.

The Economics class isn't too bad, though the professor skims through the book and will read the name of a section and tell us to read it at home. He'll pause to quickly read a definition. Sheesh, email the chapters and save us the drive!

I just had my first test in that class, which he assured us all would be "so easy that no one could possibly fail it". Well, luckily he graded on a curve. The highest grade in the class before the curve was applied was mine: an 83. My 'B' was the best grade. Insane. The next best grade would have been a 'C' before the curve. Yes, several people still managed to fail even after he adjusted the grades by adding 17 points! Other students were angry with me for overachieving and making a 'B'! The good news there is mine was an 'A' 100 thanks to the curve. (I actually frown upon that; it's sort of cheating don't you think? I would've been happy with the B I earned. Oh well.)

And then the fourth class is on the developing world. It is the one class that actually makes me feel like I'm actually in college and not warped into Bizarro World High School. I take about fifteen pages of notes in this class every time. The subject is really interesting and he actually sticks to the subject matter. And even though this is my toughest class it is also the one I am doing best in. (Hopefully that statement holds true following midterms!) He is a tough grader (as they should be- tough but fair) and I still managed to get a 97 'A' on my first paper. Not too shabby considering I have been out of school for thirteen years!

So there is the rundown on my edumacation.

Oh! Also school-related: I am no longer the favorite parent! Violet's Daddy has discovered the amazing parenting method of Give Her Whatever She Wants while he watches her on Mondays. So when they pick me up she starts telling me about how she spent half the time at the park, got to eat fries, got a new baby doll... Yeah. I can't compete with that. I'm Mean Mommy now that she has discovered that I've been holding out on her.

Say Cheez-Whiz! Here's Some Pictures, Yo!

Here's Violet's new camera-ready look. She thinks it is hilarious to smile and then hurry and scrunch her face up just as I take the picture. Oooooh yeah. She's a riot.

And apparently she's Irish, if you go by the necklace she has on there. Here she is on the steps at her friend Breanna's house. I call this one "Lemon Face Lollygagging on a Staircase". Duchamp, you've got nothing on this!

The one photo I did manage to get sans scrunch was this little gem. It reminds me of some between take candid shot from Laugh-In for some reason. Maybe it's the groovy paisley and the flippity-do hair.

And here is the new doggy, shown here without glowing eyes, which I guess scared some of you into making mean comments last time. You know who you are! She's a good pup.

Silly Geese By The Gaggle

Violet's Sleepover

Here's Violet hanging out with her friend Brianna.

(In case you're new here- Violet has the pink slippers, no pants and the disgruntled look.)

In this next one it's pretty obvious that the children stayed up way too late. Look at the vacant stare on Violet. I promise she's eating cereal, not magic mushrooms.

There. That's better. (Yes, my kid even wears hats to breakfast.)

Violet's Awesome Photography

Here are some cool photos Violet took recently. I'm going to get her a little digital camera that she can carry around. I really don't want her to drop mine.

We Got The Technology

Violet had one of those "2" birthday candles on her birthday cupcake. The flame on the candle kind of scared her so I blew it for her and set it aside. Later she found the candle and brought it to me. She pointed at the wick, and wondering why it was no longer on fire she said, "Candle broke." She thought for a second and then said, "Batteries."

I thought it was funny that her first instinct was that batteries make things go, rather than the natural element of fire. That is only natural, as I try to keep Fire and Daughter as far apart as possible at all times.

I started thinking about the evolution of technology and how each new generation takes the technologies of their day for granted. It is interesting to think that an Iphone will be something ordinary and common to Violet's generation, like the amazing space-age cordless house phones were to me growing up. Will an Iphone seem to them like the huge suitcase-sized car phones of the '80s seem to me now?

Remember how cool Zack Morris on Saved By The Bell was with his?

I remember seeing The Mario Brothers on the original Nintendo game system for the first time as a kid and thinking that it was CUTTING EDGE. Amazing graphics! Technology had reached its zenith. I mean, afterall, I had only ever played Atari. Now I see it and think, man, I could make that.

It's April 17th!

And that means that two years ago today...

I was havin' my babeh!

That's right. Today is Violet's birthday!

Here she was:

and now here she is:

If only I had known then that labor and delivery was going to be the easy part, I would've relaxed a whole lot more for that nine months!

Happy birthday, Violet!

This Could Mean One of Three Things...

1. Violet has a brilliant future in the Word Verification industry.
2. She's trying to spell "Sociopath" but hasn't quite mastered "sounding it out" yet.
3. Um, she likes to line up letter magnets and I'm reading too much into it.

When I Grow Up...

I've heard that children are drawn to their passions early in life. For example, a future architect may be proficient at making Lego towers at an early age, so that sort of thing should be cultivated and nurtured.

This idea has me a little worried.

Violet's latest craze is turning on the stereo, taking off all her clothes and climbing onto the dining room table and dancing.

She also wants temporary tattoos on all the time. (They are Hello Kitty, but still.)

I knew I should have named her Porsche.

(Um, about that name: not really.)

"The Babies Are Groaning!"

That is what Violet exclaimed when she saw that the seedlings she helped me plant a few days ago had went from this:

To this:

Feed me, Seymour!

Although I am sure she meant "growing."

I don't even know what half of these plants are. I keep seeds from different things and then plant them. Surprise! I know there are red sunflowers, cantaloupes, pumpkins, and... that's all I know. I really should label them, huh? Oh well.

Sugar Zombie

Yesterday I made this scrumdillyumptious (vegan) chocolate cake. Today, Violet and I ate the last of it. (Hey- it only makes eight servings, folks. Three of us ate it, which evens out to: you're right. Too much. But it was sooo good.)

Even picky definitely-not-vegan Jeremy liked it.

One warning, though- you may want to reduce the amount of sugar just a tad. That picture is Violet directly after eating her first piece. Look at the glazed eyes, distant stare, zombie stagger, unbrushed hair- oh wait, that one's my fault. You get the idea though.

Books, Dumb Celebrity Kid Names and Whatnot

I haven't been able to get as much reading done lately as I would like, but I did start a new book last night. It's called Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China. It's the nonfiction story of three generations of women in China during tumultuous times.

It begins with the story of the author's grandmother, who was given as a concubine to a powerful warlord general. That happened when she was fourteen years old. Her father did it to ingratiate himself to the general in order to further himself politically and financially. It also details the horrible and painful "beauty" ritual of foot-binding she had to endure since she was a small child. This was the feminine ideal trait of the time and the resulting tiny (mutilated) feet were described as "three-inch gilded lilies." I'll stick to my Clementine number nines, baby! (Size 8, actually. Quit looking at me like that. I'm not bandaging my feet for your approval, folks.)

I am not even one hundred pages in yet but I already love this book. I picked it up at my local Goodwill on a whim. Some of my favorite books have been discovered that way.

Okay. I was going to talk about some other books but honestly by the time I actually got to sit down and type this I have forgotten what they were. Oops...

I sort of lied a minute ago. I DO get to read more often than I insinuated. It's just that the books I read (over and over) are: Good Night, Baby; The Cat in the Hat; Tom and Annie Go Shopping; and A House for a Hermit Crab.

I may run out of breath by the tenth reading but I am pleased that Violet enjoys books. Oh yeah! Warning- Mommy bragging moment: she has recently learned the alphabet and she recognizes and says all the letters! (Twenty-two months old? Whoa. I didn't learn them until I was like six I think.)

Now to the other topic. Dumb Celebrity Baby Names.

This isn't a new thing by any means. Celebrities have a long history of showing their "creativity" through offbeat names for their (spoiled) offspring. Bob Geldof and Paula Yates may have helped inspire the recent boom in silly names when they began having children almost twenty years ago: Peaches Honeyblossom, Fifi Trixibelle and Little Pixie Geldof. What's in a name. Well, the only news I ever hear of the Geldof girls involves drinking, snogging and snarking. Go figure.

Honestly, I don't care what anyone names their child, as long as they consider that the child will have to live with the name (and possibly shame.) What do you, Reader, think of this bizarre trend?

To me it's like every other lame status thing in Hollyweird. "Yeah well, my baby's name is totally weirder than yours." (Please, Paris, do not breed!) Who can have the tiniest dog, biggest sunglasses, most stints in rehab, and most unusual baby name. Snorrre.

When I started this blog, pre-Violet, I wrote about the name debate Jeremy and I were having. I've always loved the name Violet. a.) I love the color. b.) It sounds cool to me. c.) I knew a little old lady named Violet Canary and just thought she was the bee's knees. d.) It's the name of a song I like. Jeremy, however, wanted to go all Norse mythology on me (which we both love, but...) and name her-

are you ready?

Valkyrie.

Seriously. This was before the Tom Cruise movie came out, but it was being filmed. I told him that besides everything else, people will think we named our baby after a Tom Cruise movie. Why not tattoo Pepsi ads on her while we're at it? Yuck. His reasoning was "No one else will have the same name." Yeah, nor would she run into a classmate named Dogfeathers. Or Arnie Palmer Lite. Or Sassula Spaghetta. Doesn't make any of those a good name for a little girl either!

I suppose that's the price one pays for breeding with a known Dungeons and Dragon player. Well, I think you know who won that one. However he does stand by the idea that he gets to name a boy child, if we were to have one. His pick? Thor. (One good reason Violet is going to stay a single child.)

While we're on the subject: Yes, Violet. No, not "like Ben and Jen." Sorry. That makes me insane when people say that. I feel better now.

When Chinchillas Attack...

They use biological warfare. Namely: little pellets that I have to quickly sweep up before my child finds them and thinks they are delicious bite-size treats.

Back to Black

As you can see, I have went back to the Minima Dark template. I couldn't take the Pepto Dismal any longer. I was just using it for its three column setup. (It must feel so cheap now.) Back to the search for a three column Blogger template that doesn't require insane amounts of Html tweaking. I followed several tutorials to add a third column, but none worked for me. If anyone knows how to fix this and add a third column I'd appreciate any help!

Next up- Vi0let threw up for the first time earlier. This thoroughly freaked me out. I am a worrier and tend to stress out over things like this. (I'm in the wrong business, I know.)
She napped and woke up seemingly okay... then hurled again a moment later. Her doctor said to start Pedialyte, which I had on hand. I had to trick her by putting it into a Coke bottle. She caught on, but I did get a few ounces down first. Her Daddy's on the way home with PediaPops and some crackers. Hopefully it's a short-term stomach bug and goes away soon!

My poor baby. When she threw up she looked at me and then at the floor and said, "Pooked!"

Violet's Guide to Fit-Throwing

Why do 85% of all my photos look like this?

I'll tell you why:

If there is one skill that Violet has truly mastered it is throwing a proper fit. She has elevated it beyond simple skill and has actually crafted it into an art form. She is the Marie Spartali Stillman of tantrums.

When I started this blog I was pregnant, swollen and feeling none too clever. I just chose a title based on what I was calling the yet-to be-born Violet at that time and have kept it the same. I began by calling her "Wee Little" which quickly became the shorter: "Weloo," which I then made redundant and even more nonsensical by adding the "Little" back in front of. (And now you know!)

However, on days when her temperamental artwork is especially passionate I do consider renaming my blog. Here are some examples that I have briefly considered when the shrieking reaches decibels that certainly have inflicted irreparable acoustic trauma:

• Mommy Needs a Quaalude




• The Changeling Diaries




• The More You Scream The More I Drink




• We're Not Asked Back to Playdates!




• Everyone in this Woolworth's Thinks We're Dysfunctional




• I Said Stop Kicking, Please
  
  

Okay, so it hasn't actually driven me to drink or barbiturates... yet. And when she's not causing hearing loss in others she's a real swell gal. Some of her other hobbies include:

Finding my lotion and trying to eat it on the sly.

Making hats out of weird objects.

and breaking every single Dr. Suess ceramic piece I have owned for years. Sorry, no photo. Too sad to document.

In closing, before anyone kindly suggests that this is just the "Terrible Twos" approaching, let me present you with this photo documentation that disproves that theory. Here she is on a typical day a year ago. I just noticed that her shirt says "happy." Cruel irony.

It reminds me of the beginning of that poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead;
And when she was good
She was very, very good,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

Well, if we just replace "curl" with "crazy mohawk" it suits her.

I love that moody girl.

Hell Has Thawed, Mostly

So, yay, we are finally home. The power is on, the fridge has been cleared of all the food that went bad and mostly restocked. We survived the arctic blast of the Alberta Clipper! Here are some fun moments I'll share with you.

Snow + Cars + Time= Sludge.
Ice makes people drive funny.

Violet and Ice Bat, trying to recover from the traumatic stay at the Budget Inn.

"They're heeeeerrrre." As you can see, our luxury suite boasted such features as: floor, wall, ceiling, broken Coke machine down the hall. Only the best for us, baby!

I am glad to be home, glad to be warm. Not so glad that I had to throw out about twenty pounds of food, most bought the day before the power went out. But, considering the fact that some people had to stay huddled in at the Red Cross with strangers to keep from freezing to death, and at least one person died from carbon monoxide poisoning from a kerosene heater, I'd say we had it pretty easy.