Tell-Tale Signs of Questionable Parenting

• Your two-year-old sighs and says "I need a cigarette!" (Although in toddler-speak it was more like "ciga-tett.")


• She asks for coffee that same day.


• When she sees something she likes she says "Cool, baby, cool," much like a stereotypical movie Beatnik might.


• Your child knows most of the dialogue from any given episode of The Mighty Boosh.

No y'all, I ain't a bad parent. I'm just country, like Britney Spears.

Kidding about that country part. I don't allow my child to drink soda in lieu of milk or water, and she doesn't need her teeth whitened from poor diet and neglect. And I haven't shaved my head and vandalized a car with an umbrella. Yet.

Unmentioned Birthdays, Smashed Toes

Two birthdays recently went unacknowledged.
First was Violet's nineteen-month birthday, on the 17th.
The very next day was my brother's birthday. (The once a year, adult kind.)
When I say "unmentioned," I don't just mean on this blog. I actually didn't even realize that it was (or I should say had been) the 17th until five minutes after midnight, when I was still up trying to persuade Violet to go to sleep. That was the first month I didn't tell my baby "happy birthday." How horrible. :(
The 18th, my brother's birthday, I did realize it was his birthday and kept meaning to call but then Violet dropped a wooden book shelf on her foot. Yeesh. I took her to the doctor and he said it was bruised and scratched but unbroken, thankfully. The shelf was from an unassembled bookcase I just got, so I had forgotten that the dumb thing was even there.
So, if you are reading this, Terry- Happy Birthday! Sorry it's late.
But hey, at least I remembered your birthday!