"Et tu, Brute?"

Oh, the Ides of March.

You think Caesar had a bad day?

Well, ten years ago today I made the worst mistake of my life: I married a real bastard. I wrote about him once before, here. I was freshly twenty-one and hopelessly naive. He was almost twenty years my senior and secretly diabolical. (Well, he was a lawyer so perhaps it was only a secret to me. See above: naive.)

Let's just say one of the nicer parts of the union was the time I hurt my back somehow and he decided I was faking the excruciating pain and inability to walk. He went about his business, leaving me stuck sitting up on a couch for four days until my mother had to come over and take me to the hospital! Oh yeah, he also stole my jewelry while I was there. (If you read the other post linked to above that will make more sense to you.)

One would think that the bastardly deeds would end at divorce, right? They don't. I swear to you that every year around this time something comes up to remind me what a total Brutus he is.

One year I received a letter from court saying that I would face some type of criminal charge if I didn't pay the taxes on a car that HE sold and kept the profits from. The best part is: it was my car which he had been awarded at the divorce hearing.

A few years ago I found out that he owes taxes from 1999- the year we married. I had foolishly filed jointly with him, thankfully only that one year. Every year since then my return has went towards his debt. Last year the IRS (after denying my Innocent Spouse Relief claim) told me that it was finally paid off. I was so relieved... until last month when I called to check on something else and they informed me that "when we told you that it was paid, ummmm, we made a mistake. Now you owe the late penalties from that year.)

Of course, the penalties are nearly as much as the original debt. Ughhh. Whom do I despise more, him or the IRS?

Hmmm.

It's close, but he still wins. Definitely.

Zombies Overtake Wal-Mart!

Black Friday.

The popular shopping day that officially begins the Christmas shopping season; named so because the stores go from "red ink" into the "black ink" zone of profit.

I've decided that this day should be renamed to The Running of the Fools. It's like the Spanish Running of the Bulls, but instead of snorting, stomping beasts that try to trample people, you have snorting, stomping people trying to trample other people.

Sometimes they succeed. This poor person was at his Wal-mart job at five o'clock a.m. trying to hold back crowds until opening time when they went ahead and trampled him to death in pursuit of the great deals! Come on. What does Walmart actually have that is worth knowingly stepping on and over another human being to get to? Damn. Can you imagine if some catastrophic thing happens and people actually need things to survive, like water or food? If an angry mob is willing to kill you for standing between them and the 20% off sale on big screen televisions then I am definitely stocking up on canned foods and bottled water, just in case.

This is insane. I can imagine this unthinking herd, minds only focused on beating the others in line to whatever pointless bauble they are fixated on, not even noticing the human being they are stepping on to get there. No way in Hell would I go out on Black Friday. They need to get ex-Hell's Angels to work the door for them. If anyone so much as tries to break out in a sprint they get a knee cap taken out.

Seriously, what the HELL is wrong with people?

I've got a six pack and nothing to do...

Joe Sixpack here.
I don't even know what to say about the Vice Presidential debate last night, except that it was enough to make an atheist cry out, "Why, God, why?"
Every time Sara Palin said "maverick" my soul died, just a little.

And then there was the bailout.

I think I actually do need a six pack after the last 24 hours.
Good call, Palin.

Walmart.com R Douchebagz Supreme!

So I recently ordered a book from walmart.com for my younger brother's birthday. I had originally planned to pick it up and take it to him, but no local bookstores had it in, so I was surprised to find that walmart.com had it. (Surprised, as they usually stick with romance novels and Oprah-approved literature.) I ordered it last minute (actually three and a half days before his birthday,) paying almost as much for the next-day UPS shipping as I did for the book itself. That was fine. I just wanted it to get there before his birthday, which their website said it would- with two days to spare!

Well, the July 11th delivery date came and went. Not there yet. I wrote them an email to which they responded that it had been lost in transit. They gave me the options of having it replaced or refunding my payment. I stipulated that they could replace my item (my poor brother has been expecting this and still wants it!) only if they are still going to ship it next-day, as I had paid for. Only fair, right? My second choice in resolving it was a refund if that could not be done.

Guess what? They are sorry that they "could not meet my expectations." Yes, I know! I have high expectations in wanting what I had already paid for! Audacious! They are refunding me because it was too much to expect that they ship the item next-day that I already paid for, after the fact that my brother's birthday was yesterday, for which I had no gift for him.

I wrote them a great letter. Perhaps if I get an amusing response I will post it later.