Sunday, August 23, 2009

Please Wean. Pretty Please?

Sure, breastfeeding is often comedy gold. [See below.] But, two years and four months into it I must admit that I am ready for Violet to quit. It would be different if she still actually relied on it for any substantial amount of nutritrition, but I think I am mostly just the human pacifier to her.

And frankly, it's a whole new game once your toddler can plainly (and loudly) request (before a crowd of strangers) "I can have a booby?" If the answer is no, she will then get upset and say "I wanna have a booby, RIGHT NOW!" It sounds funny but when I am trying to get her home from the park or wherever and she has one of these little hissy fits, I feel more like crying than laughing.

The other day I actually had the rare luxury of taking a nap, with Violet of course. I always have to lie facing her so she has access to boobies. If not, she panics. I wish there were a 12-step program for weaning a child. She needs one but she won't even admit she has a problem.

You think I'm kidding. Listen to this: During this nap I had the audacity to roll away from her. Even in a deep sleep she sensed that the precious booby was out of her direct grasp. I felt her little hands patting my back. Then I felt a hand go up the back of my shirt. THEN I heard a tiny and desperate whisper: "Where'd they go?" I had to keep from laughing out loud. It was serious enough for her to rouse from a deep sleep. The little wandering hands soon turned to wild slapping weapons and the whisper turned to a shout: "Make a booby! Make a booby!"

I'm sure that for her feeling my back when she expected boobies was a nightmare. There was a hint of terror in her voice.

And back there when I said 'precious booby'? She actually SAYS that. I call her Golem when she does.

5 comments:

Awesomeness said...

One more reason I'm glad both my kids hated my boobs. Now if bottle weaning were any easier....

Annika said...

Getting pregnant was the only thing that worked for me, and only because it hurt so fucking bad when Sam nursed that I started saying no and meaning it.

lucythevaliant said...

I feel your pain! Not that I actually breast fed. But that was probably related to the fact that my mother nursed my little sister (twenty years younger than me) for over FOUR YEARS. And we don't live in like, California or anything. It was bad. I maybe pretended not to know her sometimes...

Autism Mom said...

Hey, sometimes I wish I could kick back with a nice comforting, precious booby and let my troubles drift away... :) Still, I feel for you. When I am "hormonal" and the girls accidentally hit or touch my boobs it hurts so bad I want to scream and cry! And, happy first day at class! The girls are back to school today, so you're not the only trooper! ;)

jenny said...

my sister weaned my nephew at around two years. you can do it!

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