Now, at age thirty-one (it hurts a little less every time I say it aloud, forgive me) I will be starting school this Fall. Yawn, academia. Now- on to the perks!
- Student loans! Yes, I do have to take out one, just a small one. Just this once. I can see how an eighteen year old offered these loans could get into suffocating debt, quickstyle. So tempting. At my age I have the advantage of seeing all my peers still completely inundated in student loans from a decade ago so I can learn from their mistakes. Take that, showoffs!
- The sleek and powerful MacBook Pro I am going to buy using aforementioned student loans. It's completely necessary, for school work you know. The fact that Apple is offering students a FREE! (after mail-in rebate) iPod Touch with the purchase of a Mac, well that is just a bonus isn't it?
- When the younger students want someone to buy a keg they'll come grovelling to me. Plus, I can probably get a senior discount and pocket the difference! Brilliant. The student loan will be paid back before you know it.
See? Bullet-proof. However, the first wisenheimer that makes a Strangers With Candy joke at my expense is getting a Viking send-off. If you know what I mean.
Jerri Blank, Strangers With Candy