Sunday, June 28, 2009

Perks of Being a Thirty-One Year Old Freshman

So yeah, when I should have been in college at the socially-deemed 'appropriate' age I was busy being in a horrid marriage with a soul-sucking jerk.

Now, at age thirty-one (it hurts a little less every time I say it aloud, forgive me) I will be starting school this Fall. Yawn, academia. Now- on to the perks!
  1. Student loans! Yes, I do have to take out one, just a small one. Just this once. I can see how an eighteen year old offered these loans could get into suffocating debt, quickstyle. So tempting. At my age I have the advantage of seeing all my peers still completely inundated in student loans from a decade ago so I can learn from their mistakes. Take that, showoffs!

  2. The sleek and powerful MacBook Pro I am going to buy using aforementioned student loans. It's completely necessary, for school work you know. The fact that Apple is offering students a FREE! (after mail-in rebate) iPod Touch with the purchase of a Mac, well that is just a bonus isn't it?

  3. When the younger students want someone to buy a keg they'll come grovelling to me. Plus, I can probably get a senior discount and pocket the difference! Brilliant. The student loan will be paid back before you know it.

See? Bullet-proof. However, the first wisenheimer that makes a Strangers With Candy joke at my expense is getting a Viking send-off. If you know what I mean.

Jerri Blank, Strangers With Candy


Maggie May said...

Yay!! I need two math classes for my AA. sighhhh

beaux said...

I don't know what you mean. I'm going to have to google this. And I think I want my girls to look like this when they start school this summer. I'd find great comfort. They probably wouldn't like it though. Too bad I'm not rich. I could send them to boarding school. But then that would be wrong I guess, taking away there social interaction like that. Dammit!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I love Strangers With Candy! Good luck with the school stuff. You'll do great!

Constructive Attitude said...

Congrats on goign back to school!! What's your major????????

Sidd said...

Back to school. Way cool. I'd love to do that. Tell us your class schedule!

Laoch of Chicago said...

Going back to school is a good thing. Kudos to you.

Autism Mom said...

Hmm, are you including me in that group of show-offs that is still paying off student loans, what is it now? Oh yeah, eight years after graduation? :) Yee-haw! I went to a private school! Smart move. ;) I only owe about $10,000 now though. So I only feel marginally asthmatic, not suffocated (then again, I do have asthma still-- I told you I wasn't wheezing and coughing just to get on your nerves!)

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