- Your two-year-old sighs and says "I need a cigarette!" (Although in toddler-speak it was more like "ciga-tett.")
- She asks for coffee that same day.
- When she sees something she likes she says "Cool, baby, cool," much like a stereotypical movie Beatnik might.
- Your child knows most of the dialogue from any given episode of The Mighty Boosh.
No y'all, I ain't a bad parent. I'm just country, like Britney Spears.
Kidding about that country part. I don't allow my child to drink soda in lieu of milk or water, and she doesn't need her teeth whitened from poor diet and neglect. And I haven't shaved my head and vandalized a car with an umbrella. Yet.