Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Nude Prowler, The Scowling Crackhead Sisters, and Banning Barbie

Those assorted items listed in the title are not out of a new graphic novel or independent film.

They are some of the headlines from my local news! I thought I'd share them since 1. I've got nothing better to blog about at the moment, and 2. They are pretty funny.


First up, the police responded to reports of an elderly man sporting only a raincoat, "prowling" the interstate. Apparently he had been engaged in a "consensual relationship" with an unidentified person outside the local adult book store. Here he is. (Is it just me or is he wearing lipstick?) I bet he met his date on Myspace!

Next up, we have the daughters of our local County Commissioner selling crack. I'm posting this one as a public service announcement: Don't do crack! Look at these ladies! Crack is bad for you, obviously.

And the last item concerns Jeff Eldridge, the West Virginia lawmaker who recently proposed a bill that would ban Barbie. Personally I think there are more important things going on here in Wild, Wonderful West Virginia that should be dealt with first. To name just two: lack of jobs and the bone-crushing poverty that comes with that, and widespread drug addiction (see Bailey sisters, above).

Here's what Jay Leno had to say about it:

"Last week, a West Virginia lawmaker named Jeff Eldridge introduced a bill that would ban the state of West Virginia from selling Barbie dolls. They want to make it illegal to sell Barbie dolls in West Virginia cause they say the dolls give girls unreal expectations. See, apparently in West Virginia, dolls that have all of their teeth are not considered realistic."

* For the record: I do have allmy teeth, thanks.

8 comments:

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Ugh... Thanks, Jay Leno (not). Let's not forget the newest "good news" for WV. Forbes lists us as the "most unhappy state"! Excellent!

mary evelyn said...

wow. robin bailey totally looks like a dude. not to self: only use crack when you want to become a man?

Chelle said...

Yep. Banning Barbies will save our economy... even though I'd be willing to bet that the barbie multigigantical mega corporation employs bazillions of people.

Let's just go ahead and shut down toys r us while we're ruining people's people's livlihoods. That grandma working in the wii section looks like she's living pretty high on the horse, anyway.

Laoch of Chicago said...

Road trip!

The Self-Deprechaun said...

*mary*..I have something for you at my site

SOMETHING HAPPENED SOMEWHERE TURNING said...

Mary...
Thank you! Your words are kind and encouraging. You can't see me but I am smiling inside. Thank you for that.

Constructive Attitude said...

lol. jay leno is hilarious!!!

Blicky Kitty said...

Haha someone should make action figures after the Bailey sisters. What's up with the receding hairline on the one on the left? Does crack do that?

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