Friday, November 14, 2008

How To Lose Your Mind...

Follow these easy steps!
  1. Spend a second consecutive morning looking for, and attempting to capture, the fugitive chinchilla who mysteriously escaped his new cage. Violet was the only witness, and she's not talking. This will take at least two hours because every time you almost have him Violet will be sure to give an otherworldly, ear-drum popping shriek.
  2. Have the four separate foods you so lovingly prepared for your child's breakfast all thrown onto the floor and/or in your face, uneaten.
  3. Retrieve the black Sharpie that your child insisted on writing with (and you were too tired to fight about) after the writing quietly migrated from the coloring book to the cedar chest, then the couch, and then to said child's hands and stomach.
  4. Now retrieve your cellular phone from the bottom of the bathtub that you just filled to wash off the aforementioned Sharpie-stained child. If this is a Rorschach blotch test, all I see is ANGER, Doc.
  5. Disassemble cell phone and prop it in front of heater. Hope for the best.

7 comments:

Hot Belly Mama - taking it all back said...

You poor thing! I hope your cell phone works again soon.

I have a cedar chest my grandmother gave me, I would be livid if a child marked it.

minerva1822 said...

awwww man im sorry..sounds like you had a full day!!!..you totally need a couple of hours to yourself to take ( ironically) nice hot long bath and pamper yourself...i finally got the chance to do this the other day..lol...anyways i've been there totally understand especially about the markers and thrown around uneaten food...i hope all is better today hun.

minerva1822 said...

OHHHH..and by the way..as for the shaprie stained cedar chest, walls, or any other hard surface...try the mister clean magic erasers to get it off...breanna did the same thing a few months ago and those got it off..it took a little while..but it came off...lol..be careful though cause i rubbed so hard with it that it took the paint off my walls in one spot..lol...you could try using it on the child but i wouldnt advise it...lmao

Nicole' Happiness said...

quit your bitchin! i lost my mind years ago, and found it enlightening.give her a pack of sharpies, buy 11 more chim chims,embrace your heritage of madness..."it is not i who am mad ,it is i who am insane!" ren and stimpy.luv ya murt,from your bubby

Autism Mom said...

Oh, yeah, magic erasers are great, but I've removed both paint from the wall and varnish from wood with them.
And at least if you are crazy you will blend in unconspicuously with the rest of the family!

controlled chaos said...

haha awww i'm sorry you went through that. but it was funny, just kinda... :)
http://symphonic-discord.blogspot.com/

Sidd said...

Hope things are better by now. That sounds like a very challenging day. Is the escapee back and settled in? When I think I'm having a stressful day with all the dogs, I now think, well, at least they don't have sharpies!

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