Today I received three pieces of mail. First, the bad news: the IRS says they need me to sign my form before they send me my refund (although I clearly remember signing it, and the jerks I paid to do my taxes surely would have noticed, right?) The second was a book (Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs) from PaperBackSwap. Good thing, because I was ready for a new book. I read his other book, Running With Scissors, last week and it was pretty good, in a sick kind of way. Apparently there is a movie of it and everyone else on the planet already read it like two years ago, but I don't keep up with trends. I live in West Virginia. You're lucky I can read, people.
But I have saved the best for last, just like that horrible song everyone always plays at weddings says. The third piece of mail was Everything Is Wrong With You: The Modern Woman's Guide To Finding Self-Confidence Through Self-Loathing by Wendy Molyneux. She sent it because she was so very dazzled by my wit that she thought I needed a prize. (okay, really I was runner-up in a contest on her blog in which she asked readers to name fictional book titles for people with low expectations. I changed Charles Dickens' "Great Expectations" to "Realistic Expectations.")
Also, an unexpected visitor showed up this afternoon. He, or she- I haven't checked, came running across the street while I was outside. I treated him or her to chicken strips and a bowl of water. Last I checked he or she was still sitting on my porch. Violet will be very happy to see this guest when she wakes up, which will be any time now.