Irrational Fears and Irrelevant Confessions

You guys, I have one more class and then summer break. A much needed summer break.

Here are some bizarre little anecdotes about moi for your enjoyment. (Unnecessary French? Fancy!)

• I stay up ridiculously late. I rarely get anything productive done when I do this but that hasn't slowed me down yet. And, I would argue that watching a biography of comedy legend Rodney Dangerfield IS productive. (And now I'm arguing with myself. Great.)

• Sometimes when I am up ridiculously late I go on my front porch to smoke. It is always so dark and quiet, just before the birds have started their racket and decent people are all asleep. As I look around and let my eyes adjust to the dark I always half-expect to see Mothman or Bigfoot walking down the street. At least a zombie.

• Though I have yet to see any cool monsters around here, I have seen something strange. At least three times now when I am out night-smoking I have witnessed three different dogs just running down the street, each like he were on a mission. Why would a dog be running down the street at 4 a.m. by himself? They each followed the same path. It's weird. One happened just last night. A big white dog, just hauling ass down the street at some godawful hour. I think it is better than seeing Mothman, actually. Definitely funnier.

• I have recurring dreams in which I am escaping from grizzly bears that have inexplicably taken up residence in my childhood home. I am usually holding Violet and jumping from a window to get away from them. Care to interpret?

• When I was a child our neighbor had a horse that would sometimes get loose. It was tame and would come investigate things by looking in our windows. It scared the hell out of me, though. The wild eyes and huge head peering in the glass (probably at his own reflection). These visits seemed to only occur on days that I had broken an egg while playing around in the kitchen. Bizarre, I know, but my kid-brain correlated the two events. If I broke an egg I would sit around nervously waiting for the horse to come to the window. (What? I was a weird kid. We were poor, so we played with eggs a lot I guess.)

• I am scared to go to our basement by myself at night. Seriously. In my defense, it is a huge, spooky-ass basement with plenty of clutter for ghosts and monsters to hide behind.

• I have a phobia of getting bugs tangled into my hair. Locusts, moths, june-bugs, butterflies: any one of these strike fear into my heart if they get too close to my head.

• Okay, so this list has turned to "Reasons Why I am a Huge Scaredy Cat and Weirdo". Oh well. On I plow.

• I like tattoos but I am not a fan of getting one just because it is trendy thing to do, or because I need to commemorate the fact that I am a mother (um, that is what stretch marks are for), or any other such reason. I am really glad that I wasn't too impulsive when I was younger. I found a whole bunch of trace paper with bad tattoo designs I drew when I was sixteen. I planned on getting them all. One had two stylized snakes intertwined. I had wanted that one on my spine. Hahaha! It gets better: I had drawn some runes around them, too. No wonder only creepy dudes asked me to prom.

Dusty Little Treasures

("Hey that title could be for this blog", I say as I dust off my Blogger dashboard.)

I have been digging in the basement again. Here's what I found:

Old jewelry and a cookie cutter!

A meat chart! A "Good Things to Eat" recipe book!

Part of a bake chart, some old Kodachrome film and 8mm video, and some weird little piece of plastic shaped like a monkey I think.

Reliable Recipes! 10cent birthday candles, and Monkey Grip.

And then I found Prince Albert. In a can!

The best part is that I also found an old kitchen island- which is awesome because I need more storage space in my little kitchen! I'll show that to you if I ever get it upstairs.

Sorry for letting my blog get so dusty and lonely. My life seems to be on a schedule of Violet-school-eat-study-play with Violet-study some more-play on Facebook longer than I should-sleep.

Blognesia!

That what I have. I forgot I have a blog. Oops.

In my own defense- I have been somewhat preoccupied with the following things:

• Exposing my child to all the germs and airborne disease my local UrgentCare has to offer just to get a butt rash looked at. Sans N95 protective face mask- gasp! So far we haven't contracted the dreaded Porken-Plague (scary, yet not as scary as the often overlooked Porcupine Influenza Type Z of 1843) or the much more likely local threat of Whooping Cough (don't call it a comeback, it's been here for years), also known as Pertussis to certain fancy people with a bunch of letters behind their names who may or may not have completed medical school. What show-offs!
• Installing so many door locks one would think I live in the heart of the most dangerous gang-controlled Third World ghetto. I had to do this since my child, Wee-Loodini opened our front door with its one paltry lock and was wandering our unfenced front yard unsupervised while I was grabbing my jacket to take her out. She wasn't out there long (30 seconds or so), but then it doesn't take long for a toddler to run into a road. Very scary. My neighbor saw her without me and knew she had sneaked out, so she kept an eye on her until I got there, thankfully. Now I have augmented our security to include a sound alarm, chain lock, eye and hook latch, as well as the original lock. Trust me, I used to harshly judge parents when I would hear stories of kids escaping and the parents unaware. She will not be escaping again.
• Not getting enough sleep for a human being to properly function on.
• Being stuck inside during a full week straight of rain that will never end.
• Watching the movie Cats & Dogs, at Violet's request, every ninety minutes or so. "Movie cats. Please?"

Man, when will the sunshine come back? Hell, will the sunshine come back? Looks doubtful at the moment.