This Little Piggy, Modified for the Times

You know little nursery rhyme and game of taking your baby's toes and playing "This little piggy went to the market..." and so on. Well, I felt that it needed an update for the more socially conscious era we are in. The new lines I have added are italicized below. Here you go:

This little piggy went to the farmer's market, and purchased locally grown organic produce.

This little piggy stayed home, because he couldn't afford the carbon offset he'd need to drive there. [Or, because his electric car was still charging. You decide.]

This little piggy had roast beef, and was then ostracized by all his vegan friends.

This little piggy had none. He was fasting in protest of mountain top removal.

And this little piggy cried "Wee, wee, wee!" all the way home. It was a new cathartic technique her therapist suggested.