How I Know the Universe Hates Me

• Last evening, while sporting unkempt hair and a "wifebeater" undershirt in place of a real shirt, I answered the door not to my expected guest (Jeremy's mother- who wouldn't be shocked to see me like that), but to two young Mormon missionaries. The more talkative one was of Korean lineage; which I point out because his name was Elvis. Rather than take my word that, "No, we aren't currently looking for a religion," he said he'd like to come back when the "man of the house" was in. How very unlikely.
• I barely brushed against my coffee mug, which of course is on the computer desk. It actually leaned, paused as though it were making a decision of whether or not to topple and completely soak the keyboard below, or sit back in place. Guess what it did?
• My neighbors have went all out decorating outdoors for Christmas. That's not a bad thing, right? Well, it wasn't the first night or two, but now the Griswaldian glow of the lighted nativity scene, deers, trees, hedges, bushes, and... well there is more but I can't see past the glare of the front line of decorations to describe what is behind there, but anyway it is bright enough to be headache-inducing. Even with the blinds drawn. It has blotted out all the stars in the sky, and right during the only time for the next fifty years that Jupiter and Venus (and a crescent moon!) are visible together in the night sky. Bah. Humbug!

It's Midnight. Do You Know Where Your Parents Are?

My neighbor kids do not, apparently.

They are outside my window letting off fireworks, trying to incur my wrath. I just asked them to stop doing that last night. Same bat time. I really don't want to stay up all night making sure they don't set my roof or tree on fire. Where the fuck are the parents? I think they are actually there, and are aware of what they are doing. They just don't give a damn.
There are three of these kids. One is riding a dirt bike down the street with no headlights on, taking a shortcut through my lawn. Then he revs up the shitty engine, right outside the room where Violet is finally sleeping.
Grrrr. I am about to be pissed off if I have to go tell them again.

This is why I plan on putting privacy hedges around the entire property: keep asshole unsupervised kids out, block some of the noise out, and let them know they are not welcome to ride through the yard. I've already started a hedge fund (puns, they rule) because I want some serious Edward Scissorhand's mansion hedges. I mean like a twenty foot high inpenetrable wall of doom!

The kitty that showed up today is still outside. I think it's a girl kitten. I'm trying to think of a name for her. Maybe Gemma. No reason.