Tuesday, August 12, 2008

When I'm Not On Blogger

If I fail to post for a couple (okay, six or seven) days, I'm most likely doing this:

- Drinking copious amounts of coffee. Right now it's Antigua by Gevalia.

- Rearranging the ancient hand-me-down furniture in my house in an attempt to make it appear less hand-me-down and ancient, as though merely its placement could change that. (It now looks like ancient hand-me-down furniture, in a different place.)

- Chase Violet and generally try to keep her away from all things sharp and electrical in the home. That is a full time job in itself.

- Furiously use teeth whitening products to undo the damage all the damn coffee inflicts on my teeth. They are not quite white, but not yellow. They are a shade I've named, in an attempt to make it sound more charming than it really is, "antique lace."

- Start reading at least five separate books, and get halfway through each of them. Right now I'm reading "The Best Awful," by Carrie Fisher. There is a book in each room of the house that I am working on. (But not the bathroom. I've never understood that. If you have time to read in there- you need to eat more fiber. Sorry.)

- Oh yeah, and don't forget the everyday tedium of cleaning, dishes, laundry, diapers, food, etc.

My life is a speeding motorcycle, full of danger and excitement! Can't you just feel the wind in your hair?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Speeding murdercycle. And it's not wind, it's the chilling screams of the damned.

Anonymous said...

Ha! I do read in the bathroom, but it's not so much that I need to be there as I am hiding. Ahem, I mean "taking a break."

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